That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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