Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
