dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
