Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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