covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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