She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize