My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize