ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
