I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just high enough for therapy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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