just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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