The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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