i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
