i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
