i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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