dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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