You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
