I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
