Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
