Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Never underestimate the power of titties
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