I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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