I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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