Whod you bang
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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