how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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