k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
