I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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