white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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