I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
