Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
