i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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