You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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