remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
