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"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
