My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize