Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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