I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
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I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My life is pants optional.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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