Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
