everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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