I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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