Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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