I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
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Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
tell me about the eggs
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