got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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