you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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