I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The struggles of a small town man whore
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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