he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
