The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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