i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
