It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
