your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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