we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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