return my video game
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
