I didn't shave. On purpose
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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