Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
