is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
