i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
