So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
