how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
