College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Couch. On fire.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
