There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You can't just leave with hair like that
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
