Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
