i think i have herpe
just one?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
