Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
