All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
