Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize